1991-'92 Splitting Hairs

My home in Heaven

(According to one of my Sunday School kids)

These days were God and my deepest moments. They were also the days of personal introspection. I believed it was my job as a parent to teach my children moral and ethical values. But first they had to be defined for me. These were the times I came face-to-face with words like Ignorance vs. Innocence, Judgment, and Devotion. In the end my beating heart towards God was broken by man, but I strengthened it with more God.  

 I was fully committed to my 6th grade Sunday School class which kept me focused on the youth at church. I was also teaching a Bible study at my house that included older youth group teens. Eventually most of the teens coming were past Sunday School students. I had a good foundation with the Bible because I'd been reading it since the 70s, and the more I researched for my lessons, the more I questioned what I was being taught at church. The truth was, I was bored with all the repetitiveness and generalizations. I began studying theologies from around the world to see if they had any validity. 

Presbyterians have teachings about God that are good but a little one-sided. This opinion of mine came out in my home Bible studies. For example I had a hard time with the once-saved-always-saved theory mixing with freewill. I questioned how spiritual gifts look in the light of predestination. I cheered for the antihero. I discarded whining pray-for-me people. And I defined Missionaries differently. I'm also so confused about the End Times that I only know it's coming. But, what really sent me to the "pray for her" group was my studies of other religions. I went to great lengths trying understand the other side of things, and it eventually got me in trouble with a lot of people.   

The Gate

When I started studying Jehovah Witnesses and Mormonism I'd invite the door knockers in to have a chat. I would listen to them share their salvation message then I'd ask questions. I found that they gave a lot of programed responses, much like the ones Christian give when they don't read the Bible on their own.

For starters I had a hard time understanding the JW's concept of Heaven... 

                                  The resurrection will reunite relatives with their loved ones

Believe it or not, it was pictures like this one in their Watchtower magazines that got me thinking the JW's don't understand the Bible's concept of spiritual beings which Jesus spoke of:

Matthew 22:29 But Jesus answered and said to them, "You are mistaken, ^(V)not understanding the Scriptures nor the power of God. ³⁰"For in the resurrection they neither ^(W)marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.

One day I simply asked. "In the afterlife does the age you are resurrected with remain the same for all eternity? And with 2 out of 3 marriages ending in divorce, which family are we talking about?" Then we'd compare Bible translations. I realized how different their Bible was compared to every other Bible I had in the house...and I had quite a few. I quickly noticed that Jesus wasn't even close to the same guy in their translation. I found that interesting. 

Then I chatted with the Mormons.

8And ^agave him power from on high, by the ^bmeans which were before prepared, to translate the Book of Mormon; 9Which contains a ^arecord of a fallen people, and the ^bfulness of the ^cgospel of Jesus Christ to the Gentiles and to the Jews also; 10Which was given by inspiration, and is confirmed to ^aothersby the ministering of angels, and is ^bdeclared unto the world by them—

They quickly confused me with their other Book Of Mormon that they used to explain the Bible....

 2Which commandments were given to Joseph Smith, Jun., who was ^acalled of God, and ^bordained an ^capostle of Jesus Christ, to be the ^dfirst ^eelder of this church; 3And to Oliver Cowdery, who was also called of God, an apostle of Jesus Christ, to be the ^asecond elder of this church, and ordained under his hand;
Something about all this seem Egocentric. One thing I learned long ago was to consider the source.

One day I had a couple of Mormon girls at the house trying to explain to me why I should listen to Joseph Smith over all the other Bibles in my house. I wasn't convinced and one of them got so frustrated with my questions she left in tears. I quit inviting any of the door knockers in after that.

Eastern religions sparked a healthy interest with me, they still do. I think there's a lot of truth in them, like their concept of meditation, fasting, and respect for nature, even human nature. Taoism too has merit with its equality of male and female attributes within every person. I still like to Yoga my way to inner-quietness, but I draw the line at calling myself a god. The Pharaohs did that and look where it got them.

The church softball team

My atheistic Father-in-law and I would discuss religious theology all the time. He was such an intellectual that he adored a good debate. He had a serious way of sharpening my verbal tools too. We'd talk so long that one day my Mother-in-law told Mark I had to stop "arguing" with the man. To her I was an antagonist. Mark thought so too. Even my Mom thinks I pick intellectual fights. My Father-in-law disagreed. 

The church had a divided view of me. Some enjoyed my independent spirit, others not so much. Some liked that I questioned and inquired. They understood the value in it. Others believed I was walking hand-and-hand with the Devil. In my opinion, big money churches with established Calvinistic approaches to the layman (ie. stuck-up politics) never really welcome the maverick. "You're a loose cannon," I was told, "even though you're a home run hitter for our softball team"...Ironic.

As long as my children were going to school and being involved with the Southern Presbyterian Church USA, I followed their definition of Submit. When the kids moved on, I came to find that submission to God was much more appealing. In the end the church's Wise Men decided they didn't like my independent studies nor did they like my tattoo. I was black listed. "We think you'll be happier at another church." they said, "And we're going to let Mr. Suit-and-tie take over your Sunday School class. He doesn't ruffle feathers." I was told. I was Ok with that. I'd been teaching for a long time and it was true, I needed to move on. Mark was on my side here, and we moved our family to another more contemporary church. It was the one started when one of our ministers rebelled and left taking half the congregation with him. Ahhh...schisms as usual.

Mark and I were at the church for over 18 years, and I have to admit that in the grand scheme of predestination, the time there was very good for me and my spiritual development. It was also good for my family. The kids benefited form the church tremendously and Mark made friends that have lasted through his drug days that lie ahead.

PS. Mr Suit-and-tie who the Wise Men gave my class to was arrested for child molestation. Ironic.