The past 8 years were a beautiful vodka/soda drink with a tart lime twist. Courtney and I danced under the stars until our stars shifted in different directions and the moon tilted oddly under the weight if the glass. We couldn't keep up with each other's steps. I became a Grandmother and she became 35. We were years apart.
The last year of our relationship the tartness started mixing with the ice, and as relationship do, bitterness hit the taste buds and words started to sting. We went our separate ways internally and externally. Braving the images chiseled in our walls of sand and oak tree sunsets. The departing was long and sad. Still, not a day goes by that I don't see something that reminds me of her. But there are only two consistencies here on earth; the ticking of time, and that life is absurd. It was time to live what I have learned while living alone. I regret nothing but Courtney's exit strategy. She got physically involved with someone else while we were still under the same roof.
The Absurd Man
"At this point of his effort man stands face to face with the irrational. He feels within him his longing for happiness and for reason. The absurd is born of this confrontation between the human need and the unreasonable silence of the world." Camus
God had a plan though....
I got a career forward job and started working on a concept of self. In 2011 I was as an associate for an upper scale retail company. In 2012 the company moved me to Virginia Beach and promoted me to a sale's floor manager. It happened so fast my brain turned into the cable chaos people had behind their TVs in the 80s. Within a month I had to squeeze only the necessities out of my 2300 sq.ft. house and somehow keep my new 678 sq.ft. one bedroom apartment from looking like a hoarder just hit the neighborhood. One day I must write about moving weekend. The guys who did the heavy lifting of my shit felt they spent four hours performing Hell's Cross Training death scenarios.
Now it's October 2012 and I have landed high on the 11th floor of the Mayflower. My ship has come in. I'm 52 and starting over. I'm feeling like Wonder Woman! Cooper's my side-kick Walking Dog.
The hardest thing was getting my Internet connection up and running. It's amazing how much it's needed to keep the circle of life going since the Phone Book died. Amongst other things laptops are the bank, telephone (with 411), photo album/journal (Facebook), and Hulu TV. All with only one cable wire behind the set. After about a week of no computer when I saw Google come up on my screen I rejoiced. I knew things would be OK. My next step was to find a grocery store.
I saw this sign while riding my bike along Atlantic Ave. I took it as a directive.
"Of all the schools of patience and lucidity, creation is the most effective. It is also the staggering evidence of man's sole dignity..." Camus
